Allowance & pocket money

Starting an allowance: the first month

Starting is easy. Getting past week three is the whole game, because week three is when the novelty is gone and the habit has not formed yet — and almost every allowance that fails, fails there.

Ages 4–105 min readUpdated

Before week one: decide three things

Decide these with the other adults in the house, in advance, and write them down. Every one of them will be tested, and deciding under pressure is how a system becomes negotiable.

  1. The amount, and what it covers. Not just "$5" — "$5, and from now on you buy your own treats at the pool." A number without a boundary is just extra money. How to pick the number.
  2. The day. A fixed day, every week. Friday and Sunday both work well; the day matters far less than the fact that it never moves.
  3. Whether it is tied to work. Unconditional, earned, or a small base plus paid extras. All three are defensible; switching between them without telling anyone is not.

Week one: the conversation, then the money

Have a short, calm conversation — five minutes, not a seminar. Say what the money is, what day it arrives, what it is now their job to buy, and that you are not going to top it up. That last sentence is the important one, and saying it out loud in week one is what lets you hold the line in week five without it feeling like a new rule.

Then pay them, in cash or in something they can see. And then — this is the hard part — say nothing about what they do with it.

Week two: the first real decision

This is usually when a child first encounters the idea that two weeks of not spending buys something better than one week of spending. You can help this along without steering it, by asking one question when they are looking at something out of range: "how many weeks is that?"

That question does more than a lecture, because it converts a price into their own time. It is the same trick behind our chore-cost calculator — a $30 toy is not a number, it is six weeks, and six weeks is a thing a seven-year-old can feel.

Week three: the week it goes quiet

The novelty is gone. They may forget it is payday. They may not care. You will start to wonder whether the whole thing is doing anything at all.

Pay it anyway, on the day, without a ceremony and without checking whether they noticed. The value of an allowance is almost entirely in its reliability — you are not trying to produce enthusiasm, you are trying to produce a background fact about the world that the child can eventually plan against. Enthusiasm in week three is not a signal of anything; payment in week three is.

The goal is not a child who is excited about payday. It is a child who knows, without thinking about it, that Friday is when money arrives and nothing they say will change the amount.

Week four: give it somewhere to go

By now there is usually a small pile of money and no plan for it, which is the moment a savings goal actually works — as opposed to week one, when it is an abstraction imposed by a parent.

Ask what they want that they cannot afford yet. Write down the price. Work out how many weeks. Put both numbers somewhere they can see, ideally with a picture of the thing. Goals fail in predictable ways, and nearly all of them come down to the goal being invisible, too far away, or chosen by the parent.

How to tell whether it is working

Not by whether they are saving. Plenty of financially competent adults spend everything they earn on purpose. The signals worth watching are smaller than that:

  • They know roughly how much they have, without being told.
  • They have said "I can’t afford that" out loud, unprompted, and moved on.
  • They have asked what something costs before asking for it.
  • They have chosen between two things instead of asking for both.

Any one of those inside two months means it is working. None of them at six months usually means the money is not really theirs yet — most often because it is still being topped up, or because there is nothing they are genuinely expected to buy with it.

Keeping track of it

Cash is the best possible teacher for the first few months, because it visibly runs out. Its weakness is that it goes missing, and a balance nobody can verify becomes a balance that gets argued about.

A written tracker on the fridge solves that, and ours are free. If the arithmetic starts to be the annoying part — or if the child is too young to read the chart at all — that is the specific problem Sock Market was built for: the jobs read themselves aloud, you approve what was actually done, and the running total is not something anyone has to remember. You can try it without an account.

Questions parents ask

What age should I start an allowance?

Four or five is a common starting point — early enough that money is still interesting, late enough that the child understands spending means the money is gone. Starting later is fine; starting without deciding what the money is meant to cover is what causes problems.

Should I make them save part of it?

A forced split (some to save, some to spend) teaches the mechanics but not the choice, and the choice is the harder skill. A reasonable middle is to leave the money entirely theirs and make saving attractive instead — a goal they picked, or matching what they put aside.

What do I do when they run out and want more?

Nothing, warmly. "You’ll have more on Friday" is the entire answer, and the first time you say it is the most valuable moment in the whole system. Topping up once teaches that the limit is soft, and every limit after that will be tested.

Cash or an app?

Cash for the first few months if you can — money that physically runs out is a better teacher than a number. Move to a tracker when the arithmetic, the lost coins, or the disagreements about the balance start costing more than the lesson is worth.

The part that is genuinely hard to do on paper

Sock Market reads every job aloud, so a child who cannot read yet can still see what is theirs. You approve at the end of the day, the running total looks after itself, and every payment is written to a ledger nobody can quietly edit.

Read next

← All guides

Was this useful?

We send a new guide whenever we work something out properly, plus the free printables. Nothing else.

Email me new free printables, guides and occasional tips from Sock Market. Unsubscribe any time.